So Proud! 

On Wednesday afternoons, I used to work out at my gym for two hours, taking a Pilates class and a spin class. One Wednesday, my 15 year old stepson asked if he could join me. I figured two hours would be a long time for him to spend at a gym, but he assured me that it would be no problem; he would play basketball and lift weights. Okay, then, he could tag along.

On the drive, he shared that he was afraid to ask the basketball players if he could play. He was not always honest about his fears, so I was proud of him for being open and sharing. I told him that I knew what it was like to be afraid, that sometimes you have to push past your fear to accomplish goals. You can’t let it hold you back. I brought up my fear of public speaking, and how I joined Toastmasters to help me work through that. He said, “Public speaking isn’t scary! That’s easy for me!” I reminded him that everybody’s fears are different. He kept moaning that this was so hard for him, that the players were intimidating, but he really wanted to play. I validated his fears and listened, and then assured him that I had faith in him.

When we were walking up to the gym, I asked, dead pan, “Would it be helpful for you if I went in there and asked the guys if you could play?” He stared at me, horrified, and adamantly said, “No! That would be so embarrassing!” I just smiled and told him I was kidding. Can you imagine? A teenager’s mother figure going into the basketball court to ask if her son could play? Obviously, I would never do that. However, I was worried about him not pushing past his fear, and, therefore, not getting to play. He is shy in certain situations and has anxiety, so he rarely pushes himself to do things he’s afraid of.

All through my Pilates class I wondered if he got to play basketball. It was weighing on me so much that between classes I stepped out of the exercise room to use the restroom. When I walked past the big window of the basketball court and saw my stepson running by the window to the opposite end of the court in pursuit of the ball, I beamed! I had never been more proud of him! I ran back into the exercise room to excitedly share with my gym friends how happy I was to see my stepson playing basketball.

On the drive home, I casually asked him how it went. He said, “Great!” He just strolled into the basketball court and asked, “So, how does this system work?” Perfect. He said he not only got to play, but he also got a lot of ball time and made a basket. What a great experience for him, one that I hoped would propel him forward, allowing him to experience new opportunities in the future.

Two days later at the gym, I shared again with one of my friends how proud I was of my stepson for pushing past his fear. My friend said, “I know you are. You’re such a typical mom.” I am, aren’t I? 🙂